I came into FA when I was 34 years old, 5’3″ tall, and weighed 304 pounds. I was sad and desperate for help. I saw women at the meeting getting up to share and saw people who had lost a lot of weight. I got a sponsor the first night and have been with the same sponsor since. She has seen me through a 169-pound weight loss so far. I now weigh 135 pounds, which is a serious miracle for this food addict. I have never seen such a low number. The closest I ever came was in ninth grade, when I weighed 175. Even after having lap-band surgery in 2007, I only lost 40 pounds and gained most of it back. I have experienced many other miracles since being in FA. When my now seven-year-old daughter was in preschool, the teacher noticed a learning delay and wanted her to... Continue Reading
I weighed 270 pounds; my weight was rising quickly. I wouldn’t have called myself depressed, but I certainly wasn’t happy. I resented my family and felt that I had given up my dreams of being a writer and an intellectual in order to support my family, financially and otherwise. At any given moment, it seemed the only things that could make my life bearable were eating, watching movies, playing games on the Internet, or reading. I hated exercise, but that was the only thing slowing my weight-gain. I knew I couldn’t keep up the daily 5 a.m. boot camp much longer and was bound to shoot past 300 pounds. I thought if I didn’t do something quick, bariatric surgery appeared to be the only option. That’s when I heard about FA. I was ready. Countless failures and disappointments around my health, career, and relationships had left me with the gift... Continue Reading
It amazes me that after one year in FA, with 155 pounds off my body, I still will resort to my old destructive ways. I used to overeat, binge, and purge. I was also addicted to cooking and to looking at recipes. My sponsor often has referred to my recipe hunting and viewing them online as a form of pornography for me. I didn’t see the harm as long as I didn’t make any of the recipes. But I do have a problem: once I start reading and looking at recipes, I can’t stop. I have to admit that even recently, with a year in Program, I sat at my desk at work and ended up printing recipes for Christmas treats. I am not going to bake them; I just had to have the recipes. I have made a commitment more than once to my sponsor not to look at... Continue Reading
I came to my first FA meeting two years ago weighing 244 pounds. I sat at the back of the room, busting out of my clothes, angry and frustrated, with my arms crossed. I knew nothing about food addiction, recovery, or how desperate I was. I thought I had it together, for the most part, and that is was just this “food thing” I couldn’t control. I heard something that day that changed my life. I heard hope. I don’t remember the name of the happy, skinny lady who was willing to be vulnerable and share her story, but I did hear enough of my own story to feel that there was a solution to the chaos and craziness going on in my head. I was thankful for the people who gave me numbers of potential sponsors. I went back to another meeting. My sponsor shared with me all the... Continue Reading
I was extremely overweight from a very early age. My top weight was 306 pounds. I was full of fear, doubt, and insecurity and didn’t even know it. I spent a lot of my time being bossy and rude to my friends, family members, and strangers. My heart was so hard. I figured everyone was going to judge me by my appearance, so I might as well protect myself. I was in such denial about how I looked that I didn’t even see a problem with my weight. As a young adult, I acquired a huge sense of entitlement and felt the world owed me. I was a screamer. I often yelled at my children before I even knew what I was yelling about. I lost three very successful jobs because of my attitude and inability to work with my co-workers. Friends and family were scared of me. I often... Continue Reading
