Posts about Undereating

Spiritual Exercise

As a food addict, I have the tendency to go to extremes.  I have been overweight, underweight, bulimic and compulsive with exercise.  I have learned a bit about weighing, measuring and moderating my behavior as well as my food during the 13 years I have been in FA.   Because of that, I felt safe buying a Fitbit without going back to being compulsive with exercise.  I wore it quite happily for a couple of years, but lately it had all begun to feel like I was veering in the direction of looking at it all too often, more and more invested in getting those 10,000 steps a day, becoming way too attached. When I spoke with my sponsor, with that old extreme thinking, I said I either wanted to hide it in a drawer or smash it with a hammer, whichever she suggested – I wanted peace from the insanity... Continue Reading



When the Going Gets Tough

It was a late morning in May and I called my sister-in-law to see how my brother’s hip replacement surgery had gone. The response I got was not what I expected. “Something has gone wrong; they were not able to do the surgery and he is in the ICU.”  The next day my husband and I drove 8 hours to be with my brother, sister-in-law and the rest of my family for what was to be a 4-day vigil replete with conversations, doctors, and many questions, to say nothing of challenging and agonizing decisions.  Four days later my brother died. There were many gifts during this very sad occasion, not the least of which was how I was carried by God and by this program. I once again experienced the miracle of staying abstinent during a very difficult time.  We were staying in a hotel; there were trips back and... Continue Reading



Dazed and Confused

Eight months ago it would have been absolutely impossible for me to be able to sit quietly, gather my thoughts, and write about them. My body was so exhausted from three-hour-a-day workouts. My life had ground to a halt. I had long since given up on college due to my lack of focus and long hours spent bingeing in the food court, followed by a thorough purge and teeth brushing. That stuff takes time! When I was as miserable as one is after a huge binge/purge, my immediate priority was to seek comfort. Therefore, I ate more food. I could be starving or full and confuse one for the other. I worked full-time at my part-time job as a manager at a grocery store, and I was usually in a completely dazed “stay away from food” frenzy while on the clock. My evenings consisted of all-out flour/sugar fiestas, and my... Continue Reading