The Just for Today card suggested that I exercise my soul, stop procrastinating, keep my mouth shut when my feelings were hurt, do nice things for people, and do things I didn’t want to do. My body Shortly before I walked into my first meeting, I was experiencing knee problems so severe that I could not take one pain-free step. Having 221 pounds on a 5’2” frame contributed dramatically to that pain. Doctors didn’t come right out and say it, but I didn’t have to be told. I had arthritis, I was getting older (56 at the time), and I was overweight. I knew I would have to find a way to manage the pain. But God found another way for me. He gave me a visual of a woman my age jogging toward me, and a woman my age in a motorized wheelchair crossing her path. The choice was... Continue Reading
I have been in some form of physical pain almost every day for over 22 years. For many of those years, I tried to numb the pain with food, but once the food was gone, the pain came back. I’m not even sure if the food helped with the pain, but it was a temporary distraction. As long as I was focused on shoveling food in my face, I didn’t have to focus on the pain. Being obese was certainly not helpful, considering most of my pain was in my back and hips. Carrying around an extra 120 pounds (54.5 kilos) is never a good idea. I’ve been in FA now for five-and-a-half years. Aside from a few breaks, none of which, thank you God, took me out of FA, or led to a long relapse, I have been blessed with strong recovery, and life has improved in many areas.... Continue Reading
Just recently I flew out for my fourth trip to Sri Lanka. This is not an easy journey as it was 19 hours in an airplane. For the past 16 years or so my weight has fluctuated anywhere between 215 and 275 lbs (98-125kg) and flying made me nervous for a variety of reasons: Would I be comfortable? Would the cart keep hitting my arm? Would I fit in the seat? Would they make me pay more or tell me to leave? Would my feet and legs swell like they have in the past? I also thought about who I was going to sit next to. If it was my husband or sister who are both small and know me, I was okay invading their space. I remember my sister getting annoyed at me on a bus: How dare she comment? I can’t help being fat, sorry there’s nothing I... Continue Reading
I lay strapped down on the operating table and looked up at the bright lamps and masked faces above me. In preparation for the major surgery I would undergo, I had been given no food for several days to clean out my gastro-intestinal system, and I was pumped full of antibiotics and sedatives. I was trembling uncontrollably and kept hearing my parents’ voices when they phoned me the night before. “Don’t do it!” they begged. “There must be some other way for you to lose weight.” But nothing would stop me now! I was finally going to have the weight-loss surgery for which I had waited so long. My last thought as the anesthetic sent me spiraling down into a whirlpool of darkness was, “I don’t care if I die. I can’t go on living like this.” I was 33 years old, with a husband and three small children, and... Continue Reading
