I was terrified to walk through the doors of FA, even though I was with a friend who invited me. I wasn’t sure what I would find. I have been to so many different types of “weight loss” meetings, from large groups to individual sessions. I was always looking for the solution to my weight problem. It wasn’t that I only had 20 pounds to lose. I was only 5 foot 2 inches tall but weighed in at 287 pounds. I had tried counting calories, counting points, cutting out sugar and flour, and exercising but nothing was able to help me lose the weight or take away the obsession that I had with food. The longest I had been able to be successful was six weeks and got down to around 232 pounds. My birthday came around and I thought I would just have one piece of cake to celebrate.... Continue Reading
I was a nervous wreck standing in line waiting to ride the Iron Rattler at Six Flags. There were many sounds around me: screaming, laughter, talking, and music. In the background I could hear noises of the many rollercoasters all over the park as they mechanically moved throughout the duration of the ride, twisting, turning, slowing down and speeding up, going in circles and flipping upside down. It had been 10 years since I last attempted to ride a rollercoaster. I will never forget that day as long as I live. I was with my family at an amusement park called Carowinds; it is similar to Six Flags. My children and I were in line. Our turn came up and we scrambled to find or seats. My son and daughter strapped themselves in and anxiously awaited the start of the ride. As for myself, I had difficulty buckling the harness... Continue Reading
I had already lost my weight. My top weight was 320 pounds. I was down to 150 pounds. I’d had my weight off for about five years by the time I started dating Mark. I had known of him because we went to the same church for several years, but never really knew him. Mark had been divorced for maybe three years and I was separated from my husband for about three years. I had no plans for ever dating or marrying. I had had enough of that. I had a full life, committed to my God and my church. I had my own home and business and a full circle of friends and a big family that I was also committed to. I had a secret. Though I looked great on the outside, I knew my body was ravaged by the disease of food addiction. What I’m talking about... Continue Reading
From my earliest memory, I always had an issue with food. I loved food, especially sweet flour and sugar products. I couldn’t get enough. I always wanted meals as big as those of my brothers and dad, and it didn’t seem fair if I didn’t get what they had. The biggest part of my journey commenced when I was about 36 years old. A guy I was dating left me—he stated that I was too good for him. In truth, we met when I was dieting and he left when the weight came on. This was a pattern in my life: I would diet, meet a man, then put the weight on, and then they would leave. After this particular relationship, I attended a workshop called Relationships and You, in which a woman spoke to me about recovery and suggested that I attend Overeaters Anonymous (OA). This was the beginning... Continue Reading
I was a premature twin at birth, which resulted in my having sight in only one eye. In elementary school, I was picked on for being different. I never felt like I fit in or was accepted. I was chunky, which made me even more awkward than the other kids, and this, combined with my crossed eyes and extreme near-sightedness, made me feel like I could never measure up. At 12, my parents separated because of my dad’s excessive drinking. I was able to start over again in school when Mom moved me and my siblings to the Panama Canal Zone to work as a registered nurse. In Panama, I grew up and “found” myself. I was exposed to another culture and I learned some Spanish, played a little guitar and matured overall. The kids there didn’t make fun of me because most of them were from military families and... Continue Reading
