Posts about Recovery

The Power Behind Us

I was in Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous (FA) for two years when my husband was diagnosed with cancer. Thankfully, I was six months abstinent at the time. When the doctor said the words no one ever wants to hear, I was able to be strong and think clearly. I was able to hear the doctor’s directions about the next steps my husband would need to take. My husband told me later that he had shut down the minute the doctor told him he had cancer. Because I didn’t have flour and sugar in my system, I was able to take mental and physical notes about what the doctor said. My husband broke down, but my Higher Power gave me the ability to be the strong one. Later, I called my sponsor to talk about the bad news we had just received. I broke down crying to her and asked... Continue Reading



Living My Right Life

I am a girl who spent the majority of my life putting wrappers in my bed, bags, car and even my own underpants to sneak food past my parents every night. I am also a girl who got my 90 days in FA this past Tuesday. I am a nineteen-year old college student who was, until mid-November, a tortured food addict. In FA we say that food addiction is a progressive disease; it certainly is with me; I gained over 100 pounds in under two years. This obviously took a great toll on my body; as I was nearing 250 pounds I felt the muscles in my back spasm and clench walking to the mailbox. Sweat constantly dripped down my back, legs and face, which I found mortifying. Perhaps the worst pain was that of my parents watching me physically and emotionally deteriorate before their eyes. I couldn’t fit into any of... Continue Reading



Last Throw of the Dice

I lay strapped down on the operating table and looked up at the bright lamps and masked faces above me. In preparation for the major surgery I would undergo, I had been given no food for several days to clean out my gastro-intestinal system, and I was pumped full of antibiotics and sedatives. I was trembling uncontrollably and kept hearing my parents’ voices when they phoned me the night before. “Don’t do it!” they begged. “There must be some other way for you to lose weight.” But nothing would stop me now! I was finally going to have the weight-loss surgery for which I had waited so long. My last thought as the anesthetic sent me spiraling down into a whirlpool of darkness was, “I don’t care if I die. I can’t go on living like this.” I was 33 years old, with a husband and three small children, and... Continue Reading



True Partnership

I joined FA in April 2010. I weighed 304 pounds (138kg) at that time, though my top weight was 330 pounds (150kg). I’m grateful to be maintaining a slim, healthy weight, but this is just one of the benefits of being abstinent. Before FA, I had a very co-dependent relationship with my partner. We loved each other dearly and were madly in love, but when we would have arguments, it was WAR. Each of us was ready to fight to be victorious. After huge arguments and battles, I was exhausted. The only way I knew how to make amends was to cook great meals and then eat the issue away. We never could resolve our arguments and disagreements, nor communicate about certain topics in our relationship because we did not have the skills. So when I found FA, I no longer could use food as a tool to try and... Continue Reading



Finding the Solution

For years, I wrestled with fear, doubt, and insecurity. I worried about everything, from raising children and being a responsible citizen of the world, to having enough money. Although I was an active member of a religious community, I had no relationship with the God of my upbringing. At the same time, I struggled with my eating. I say eating rather than weight because my weight fluctuated so much. The numbers on my bathroom scale were not always a problem, but I habitually went on the “diet to end all diets,” which I told myself would get me down to an ideal size, whatever that might be. I would then, of course, start eating healthily and follow new exercise regimes that would rid me of my cellulite. My relationships with other people were not as I wanted them to be. I was impatient and angry with my family, as well... Continue Reading