When I came into FA I was utterly desperate. Just a few months prior to that date, I had ended up in the hospital for three days after a major binge. My diagnosis was a swollen colon. I had eaten a food combination that was thick and pasty. I had eaten so much of it that my side started to hurt. It was late at night, so I went off to bed. When I woke up the next morning, I was fine. One week later I had another binge on that same food combination and my side started to hurt again, so just like last time, I went to bed. The next morning when I woke up I wasn’t fine. My side pain progressed for the next few days and ended up in the hospital. I was so embarrassed. The medical staff asked me all kinds of questions. I knew... Continue Reading
I came into FA at age 52 and had just lost 110 pounds after doing my own diet. I still had more weight to lose (my highest weight was 256) and a certain food had me by the throat and I couldn’t stop dreaming, fantasizing, and thinking about it. The weight started to creep up again. God led me into FA, and within three months the rest of the weight was off. I made a few mistakes here and there for a few months. I got 90 days of abstinence, lost it, got six months a couple of times, and then lost it. Then after about a year, I started to get into the food big time again. Finally, I was convinced that I needed to stop eating, and life was abstinent and good for almost nine years. Now looking back, I realize that I actually “white-knuckled it” for all of... Continue Reading
Thankfully, during my first year in Program, I lost more than 120 pounds, did my tools daily, completed an AWOL, and began sponsoring. I happen to be a pretty joyful person, and I often get asked how to be happy. I tell people that even the cheeriest people need tools to help them stay positive when life happens. But dark storms often do come. During a six-month period, I was diagnosed with an autoimmune condition, had adrenal exhaustion, my father died, I lost my job, my mother had heart failure, and I had to sell my house to get rid of a bad loan. Keeping my abstinence during this time was challenging. My health problems were frightening and expensive to treat. Among other symptoms, I suffered from anxiety, weight gain (from the illness, not from eating), and low motivation. My dreams and personal pride were destroyed. I could easily have believed... Continue Reading
As a child I was needy and insecure. My earliest memories are of being filled with fear, doubt, and insecurities. I was never comfortable in my own skin. Although I was loved and well cared for, something was missing inside me. I simply could not get enough. Food played a big role in my family. My stay-at-home-mother cooked and baked, and many family celebrations included lots of great food. Somewhere along the line, I figured out that food helped me feel better and took the edge off. Some of my earliest memories include sneaking home-baked frozen sugar treats from the freezer in the basement, then rearranging the layers, hoping nobody would notice. I played games that involved sugar snacks, and ate forbidden foods until I felt sick. I look at pictures of me growing up, and while I was always conscious of being bigger than my sisters, I was not... Continue Reading
I came into FA two years ago. I knew my relationship with food was warped and that I looked at food differently from the way other people did. I had tried several other Twelve-Step programs that dealt with food and I found some recovery, but never really “got it.” I thought of myself as a compulsive overeater, an emotional eater, and a bulimic. I knew I used food to stuff down feelings. I knew I was powerless over my emotions and the people around me, but I never thought of being powerless over food. It was easier to accept the diagnosis of the medical community that I was over-sensitive, bipolar, and that I needed anti-depressants. The medication helped with the mood swings, but they never helped with how I used food. I came into FA weighing around 367 pounds. The minute I walked into my first meeting, I knew that... Continue Reading
