I have been in Program for three years, but recently, calling my sponsor on time on a Monday morning was becoming an issue. Because we live in different time zones, my day is well on the way by the time I sit down to make my call. I found that the transition from the weekend to Monday mornings, with my family’s weekday routines, was unsettling for me. I was getting distracted, and missing my time by a couple of minutes. My sponsor suggested that I set an alarm or a timer to focus me so that I could be on time. I am technologically challenged, but I decided to face that challenge head-on and use my cell phone as my timer-reminder. I found a tool on my phone that allowed me to leave a voice message as a reminder. So I recorded my reminder and set the time. Later that... Continue Reading
I was near my top weight when my oldest son was married in 1998. I was nearing my goal weight when my youngest son got married. The dresses that I wore are metaphors for my life before and after recovery. Wedding #1 Shopping for a dress for my oldest son’s wedding was a painful experience. I knew that my future daughter-in-law needed to know what color I had chosen in order to continue with her planning, but the whole prospect of looking for something to fit me had me paralyzed. Here I was, near my top weight of 293 pounds, and I couldn’t even stand the pain of looking in the mirror. How many times had I faced a rack of clothes in the plus-size section and known that I was going to look hideous in any one of the things that I tried on? The hopelessness of selecting something... Continue Reading
The first time I visited my brother after joining Program was an incredible experience. Through geographical circumstances, my brother and sister-in-law wound up being responsible for the care of our aging mother. It was not easy for them. My brother would often call me to vent his anger, and I would try to tell him what to do. If that didn’t work, I would dismiss his needs and feelings and say, “I am too tired to listen.” This first visit in recovery was awesome. My brother and I went on an errand. Again he started to tell me how he was feeling, and then he stopped and said, “You wouldn’t listen anyway.” I said, “Yes I would, I am different now, so please tell me what you are thinking.” He began kind of hesitantly and then continued to pour his heart out. We sat in a parking lot for a... Continue Reading
I was 55-year-old, 5’4’’tall, 185 pounds, and miserable, I entered FA in a fog. After first becoming aware of the FA program, I spent months contemplating it, then finally mustered up the courage to go to a meeting. I spent the next six months dabbling in the program, slipping in and out of meetings about once a month. I didn’t talk to anyone at the meetings, and I was too embarrassed to tell my husband where I was going Saturday mornings, so I lied and said I was going to yard sales. Finally at one meeting, someone kindly asked (since it seemed as if I was coming more regularly), if I would like to be on the phone list. I said okay. I was far too good a people pleaser to say no. I received an outreach call that week, and at the next meeting I got up the nerve... Continue Reading
One of the most painful experiences of my life proved to be the motivator to propel me into FA. I know that the God of my understanding uses every life situation, and most definitely, God was right there helping me. Just prior to joining FA I had a meeting with my nursing school administrators, who informed me I was not going to be able to continue studying to be a nurse. My grades were poor and my clinical performance was not up to needed standards. I was panicky in my clinical rotations and it showed. I was sweaty and red faced and not able to focus. Mentally, I was so fragile, and the culture of nursing training at that time was harsh and strict. My trips to the school’s vending machine were my only way of coping. The nursing school director’s words informing me that I could no longer continue... Continue Reading
