In college, I lived in a dorm on campus, and my favorite hobby was to steal people’s food. Although I would never contemplate stealing anything else, I couldn’t help myself when it came to food. One day I noticed that my neighbor’s door was open and I peeked into her room. My theft mode was on. I was instantly filled with the thrill of sneaking in and looking for food. I opened the door wider and saw the room was empty. Using what I call my “food radar,” my eyes were drawn to a glowing, magnificent, oversized sweet treat. My mouth was watering. I had a have it. I sneaked in, grabbed it, and ran back to my room. Without waiting any longer, I took a generous bite. Then I felt a strange tingling sensation on my tongue. What was this unusual taste? It surely didn’t feel right. I spat... Continue Reading
A recent mental binge, fueled by self-centered fear, started with a text from my 21-year-old sister: She would be substitute teaching at the school where I teach. My first thought was, Thank you God she has an opportunity to earn additional income today! But, that thought was immediately followed by, What if something goes wrong? The fear flurries began, and I found myself knee-deep in a fearmageddon. My school works with a population of students I have sometimes found challenging, and I feared she would be physically or emotionally harmed by one or more students, that she would be unable to defend herself, and that I would need to come to her aid in a way that would jeopardize my job. My sister stopped by my classroom that morning before I started teaching, and I gave her a pep talk that she didn’t ask for but I knew she needed:... Continue Reading
I was unemployed and without an apartment or friends, spending my days binge-eating, drinking, and taking drugs. I spent all day and night in my pajamas, lounging in my childhood bedroom, and was suicidally depressed for weeks. I saw the despair in my parents’ eyes as they came in every so often to check that I was still breathing. I didn’t know what to do; I was hopeless. Of all the things I turned to for a solution, food was my number one addiction of choice. I binge-ate because it made me numb and made me feel the kind of comfort that I trusted. I couldn’t go one day without hiding in a room and eating massive amounts of my favorite flour and sugar items. I had never heard the term” food addiction” growing up, but I knew there was something wrong with me. I was told frequently that I... Continue Reading
