Posts about Recovery

Ninety Days of Honesty

I mustered up the courage to go to my first FA meeting a little over 90 days ago. I got there a little early and saw 1 or 2 people milling around, but I wanted to go in closer to starting time. I had gone to OA for a few years before this, and knew about meetings starting on time. As the start of the meeting approached, there were several people outside the entrance and my guess was that the door was locked. A couple of people started walking away and I thought, “If I don’t get out of this car now and introduce myself I may never come back.” I got out of the car and said, “Hi, I’m new.”  I was instantly welcomed. A few of the women were saying that because of the holiday, the meeting room was locked in a way that we could not get... Continue Reading



Coping With Pain

I have been in some form of physical pain almost every day for over 22 years. For many of those years, I tried to numb the pain with food, but once the food was gone, the pain came back. I’m not even sure if the food helped with the pain, but it was a temporary distraction. As long as I was focused on shoveling food in my face, I didn’t have to focus on the pain. Being obese was certainly not helpful, considering most of my pain was in my back and hips. Carrying around an extra 120 pounds (54.5 kilos) is never a good idea. I’ve been in FA now for five-and-a-half years. Aside from a few breaks, none of which, thank you God, took me out of FA, or led to a long relapse, I have been blessed with strong recovery, and life has improved in many areas.... Continue Reading



I Was Ready

I came to FA with the gift of desperation. My body was overweight and sick. I am 48 years old, and in my early forties, I was already having trouble walking up the stairs in my house. I was having joint problems and digestion problems on a daily basis. The doctors had gotten me on medications to deal with the symptoms, but I didn’t feel that I was getting to the root of the problem. I was also concerned about the side effects of the medications I was taking and what they were doing to my body. My doctor had told me I would be on medication for the rest of my life, and I didn’t feel I could accept that. I was looking for something to help me feel better and to lose the weight that I constantly struggled with. I am 5’4,” and when I came into FA,... Continue Reading



One Tiny Life-Saving Meeting

I found FA in 2010 when I was 36 years old and was carrying 350 pounds on my 5’ 4” frame. I came into Program defeated and knowing that the common denominator in all my past failed “diet” attempts was me. I tweaked them, I modified them, I never even really followed them.  This meant a new level of desperation to try this Program EXACTLY how it was being passed down. Also, following the program as best I could meant that when it failed, it would be the program’s fault, not mine. Needless to say, the Program works. I have been abstinent and maintaining a normal size body for almost eight years. We have one face-to-face FA meeting about 45 minutes from my small, rural, no-need-to-lock-your-front-door town.  There are typically only five steady members that can make it to meetings. Less in the winter when roads are closed or too... Continue Reading



Gift of Abstinence and Time

When the COVID 19 experience started I was nine months abstinent. I remember feeling confused, scared and unsettled as I walked through the first few days of entering into this new world and reality of “social distancing”, “sheltering in place” and observing empty shelves at the grocery stores. Many questions came to mind. “what will happen to our meetings”, “will I have a job or continued to get paid”, “how will we do school with our three teenagers”, “will my husband continue to travel for work?”, “will we cancel our Spring Break trip to the Grand Canyon?”, and “will I ever find toilet paper again?” I was guided by my sponsor to “stay in today”, “work the program”, “do the tools” and “weigh and measure my food”. Being abstinent, I abstain from flour, sugar, quantities, individual binge foods, and caffeine, but I can use the activity as a drug. I... Continue Reading