Six years ago, I went with my family to the village of Nasivikoso in the highlands of Fiji to visit the family that my son had stayed with during the previous four summers. They lived in a stunningly gorgeous, but very remote and barely accessible, farming village without running water and electricity. I left our hotel in Nadi with a few of the provisions that I knew I needed for our overnight stay and was assured by my son and his friends in town that the host family in the village would provide the other farm-fresh food items I would need. I knew I might have to do with smaller portions or maybe let go of an item, like I do when I dine in a restaurant, but I had no idea how much letting go I was going to have to do. One of my son’s Fijian friends drove... Continue Reading
I’ve always loved to travel, but most of my itineraries were built around food. On one memorable trip to Chicago, in one day I spent 45 minutes at the Art Institute, which is a world-class museum, and six or seven hours taking cabs around town feeding my food addiction. Chasing after the food instead of seeing life left me feeling empty and unsatisfied. I came away from that trip feeling even more hopeless about controlling food and my weight, and I missed my opportunity to really engage with life outside of food. I have traveled quite a bit, abstinently, since joining FA. I’ve been all over the U.S. for business, and spent ten days in Europe visiting my brother. I rented an apartment in Copenhagen, shopped for groceries at the local market, and had wonderful weighed-and- measured-meals that were fuel for my exploration of the country, rather than being the... Continue Reading
As a child I was needy and insecure. My earliest memories are of being filled with fear, doubt, and insecurities. I was never comfortable in my own skin. Although I was loved and well cared for, something was missing inside me. I simply could not get enough. Food played a big role in my family. My stay-at-home-mother cooked and baked, and many family celebrations included lots of great food. Somewhere along the line, I figured out that food helped me feel better and took the edge off. Some of my earliest memories include sneaking home-baked frozen sugar treats from the freezer in the basement, then rearranging the layers, hoping nobody would notice. I played games that involved sugar snacks, and ate forbidden foods until I felt sick. I look at pictures of me growing up, and while I was always conscious of being bigger than my sisters, I was not... Continue Reading
I had never heard the term “food addict” before. I discovered it on the Internet, along with the website telling me that there were FA meetings in my city. I came into FA beyond miserable, and I decided that this would be my very last attempt before I finally resigned myself to a life of hopelessness. I had contacted a willing sponsor the afternoon after attending my first meeting and assured her I did not want to start my food plan until Monday morning. I always started my new diets on Monday mornings. I was amazed to find that I was still on my new “diet” a week later, but what I had not thought through was the fact that I had a major event coming up the next week: taking my first child to college out of state. Not only did I usually start my new diets on Mondays,... Continue Reading
I came into FA two years ago. I knew my relationship with food was warped and that I looked at food differently from the way other people did. I had tried several other Twelve-Step programs that dealt with food and I found some recovery, but never really “got it.” I thought of myself as a compulsive overeater, an emotional eater, and a bulimic. I knew I used food to stuff down feelings. I knew I was powerless over my emotions and the people around me, but I never thought of being powerless over food. It was easier to accept the diagnosis of the medical community that I was over-sensitive, bipolar, and that I needed anti-depressants. The medication helped with the mood swings, but they never helped with how I used food. I came into FA weighing around 367 pounds. The minute I walked into my first meeting, I knew that... Continue Reading
