Stories of Recovery


These stories were originally published in the Connection, FA's monthly magazine written by food addicts, for food addicts. Each post shares a different author's perspective. Visit this page often to read more experience, strength, and hope about recovery in FA. To get the newest issue of Connection Magazine sent directly to your mailbox or inbox, click here to subscribe to the Connection.

Besides Being Fat, I Had Another Problem; I Could Not Live LIfe

At my first FA meeting I saw 50 people in the room who were living life in normal-sized bodies. They were showing up for difficult life situations without running away and hiding in food. I knew I was in the right place, because besides being fat, I had another problem; I could not live life. I wanted life to go away and let me hide. I was 25-years-old and had a very tiny, lonely life. At a size 18 and very naïve, I came into this recovery program and even before losing weight, I became hungry to live life and be a grown up. I lost 40 pounds in three months (five dress sizes) and was at goal weight very quickly. I then began learning how to live like a real person; it was a long process. I learned how to make conversation at the FA meeting breaks, how to... Continue Reading

 


 

I Hated Those Skinny, Little Sales People

In my early teenage years, I remember shopping at a warehouse clothing store with my mother. I was not yet overweight, but I was already extremely self-conscious about my body, and I was sure I was fat. (This is a disease that starts in my head, that’s for sure!) We staked out a spot by a mirror in the communal dressing room. My mother tried to shield me, but it was still a humiliating, uncomfortable experience, and I absolutely could not enjoy trying on the pretty outfits. The insanity, too, was that although I “knew” I was fat, I could somehow see that others were even fatter than I was. I was very ill at ease with some of the women in the dressing room, who were really obese. The whole experience was suffocating and stressful. In another shopping experience, I walked into a little boutique clothing store in search of an outfit for... Continue Reading

 


 

The Only Option Open Was Bariatric Surgery

Five years ago I came into FA, desperate to lose weight. I weighed 330 pounds and was ravaged by medical complications. I had sleep apnea, hypertension, fibromyalgia, renal failure, incipient heart failure, premature osteoarthritis, and pre-diabetes. At the age of 55, and after decades of obesity, my body had lost its ability to buffer any further insults. It had lost its functional reserve to the point where organs were starting to fail and show the clinical effects of longstanding food abuse. The only option open was bariatric surgery. Nothing else had worked and I thought nothing else was available or would work. I had reached rock bottom. Some would say that it was serendipity that I heard about FA while driving home.  For me it was nothing less than a miracle, because the week before I found FA, I was on my knees crying and praying to God to give... Continue Reading

 


 

My Character Defects are Obstacles to Growth

This was my fourth time doing a Step-Four inventory in FA, where I was encouraged to make a list of my “character defects,” or problems. I expected it to be easier, not harder, than previous times, and in some ways it was. I was more willing and able to recognize and accept my character defects. But it had also gotten harder in many respects. During the weeks when I was actively engaged in writing about my problems, it was painful to have my less-attractive qualities “in my face” day in and day out. I found myself triggered more than usual by difficult circumstances, and I made decisions or took actions too quickly, not following my own advice to stop, take a breath, and ask for guidance from my Higher Power. I was feeling particularly sad about my actions around a specific work situation. There was a mistake in a project... Continue Reading

 


 

I Wanted to Lose 40 pounds, But I Didn’t Know Where to Start

After spending a full sunny day at the beach, I left feeling hot and frustrated because I had spent most of it sitting on a blanket, fully dressed, unwilling to join my cousin and aunt who were playing in the ocean. I told myself that I needed to lose weight, but the thought of losing weight overwhelmed me. I wanted to lose about 40 pounds, but I didn’t know where to start. So when my aunt told me on the car ride home that I would definitely lose weight if I just ate three weighed-and-measured meals twice a week, I was hooked.  She mapped out a food regimen that involved weighing and measuring, and I wrote notes feverishly. I tried her food plan for one meal and couldn’t make it to the next. It didn’t work. Sure, it was simple and made total sense, but I couldn’t stick to it.... Continue Reading