A Story of Recovery:

Before I found program at age 14, food was my comfort zone.


I came into the program when I was 14 years old. Before that, I knew I had a different relationships with food than other people but never really knew I was a “food addict.” I just knew that my two thin sisters could eat whatever and whenever they wanted; but that when I ate like that, it showed. My body reacted differently.

For me, one was never enough – I was always asking for seconds and thirds. I had lost my “hunger meter,” and I ate as long as there was something available. I ate when I wasn’t even hungry; but felt bored, tired, happy, sad, excited, or just happened to be sitting in the kitchen. Food was my comfort zone, and I used it to numb my feelings.

I used to be very hard on myself about schoolwork and was in a constant struggle to excel. While studying, I always had a flour or sugar food item with me. It was hard for me to focus on what I was doing – my head was in a huge fog, and I couldn’t think straight. I was constantly thinking of how and where I could get more food.

When I first came to FA, I tried to do the program on my own; but it didn’t work. I didn’t know what I was getting into – I just knew I was attracted to the glow of the abstinent people I saw. At first, I found it difficult going to meetings where the ages ranged from 25 to 70; but that’s gotten easier, as I have learned how to get along with people of all ages.

Being in a healthy body gives me more self-confidence. My relationships have become healthier, and I’m able to think for myself. The fog has lifted. I’ve become more disciplined in my studies – my GPA has gone from a 3.1 to a 3.8 – and I’m now applying to college!

My life has turned a full 180 degrees. The way I was abusing myself with food, I know I was headed for many more years of misery. Having been spared those years, I don’t take this program for granted – I know it is saving my life.

 

This story was originally published in the Connection Magazine. Subscribe to the Connection Magazine for more stories of recovery. Or submit your own story of recovery.