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Revised Pamphlet: Some Thoughts on Sponsoring

This revision to the pamphlet Some Thoughts on Sponsorship is proposed for the agenda of the 2025 World Service Business Convention

Tool of Sponsorship. We ask an FA sponsor to guide us through the recovery program on every level: physical, mental, and spiritual. Ours is a program of attraction. Find a sponsor who has what you want and ask how it was achieved.

Introduction

Many FA members feel that sponsoring is one of life's greatest privileges. Nothing compares to the deep happiness we feel when a despairing member finds recovery and experiences the promises of the program.

FA’s approach to sponsorship is unique because food addicts have to eat every day, and quantities can be as dangerous as flour and sugar. Therefore, to attain and maintain abstinence, we need the consistent, ongoing support of a sponsor as well as the guidance of the Twelve Steps. Anything less is simply a diet.

This booklet will explore the physical, mental, and spiritual aspects of the disease of food addiction before offering specific, practical guidance. We hope you will find it useful.

Why do we sponsor?

We sponsor because:

passing on the program guards against our own complacency and reminds us we are powerless over food, regardless of how many years we have been abstinent.
helping a sponsee better understand addiction and abstinence ensures that the message of recovery will be passed on, strengthening all of us.
sponsoring allows us to overcome self-centeredness through service to others.
witnessing a food addict recover reinforces our faith that the FA program works.

When can I start sponsoring?

Typically, FA members are ready to sponsor when we:

have maintained continuous abstinence for at least six months while working with an FA sponsor. (Some of us wait until we have completed Steps One, Two, and Three in a study of the Twelve Steps focused on food addiction.)
are actively using the tools and practicing the Twelve Steps in our daily lives.

How do we get started with a sponsee?

Some sponsees come to us having no experience with the Twelve Steps while others have years of recovery in other programs. A sponsee might have been in or around the FA program for years and unable to maintain continuous abstinence, or they may come to us with long term, continuous abstinence. Our approach might differ depending upon their history, but following are some ideas of how to start.

We often ask if they identify as a food addict.

If they aren’t sure, we explain that Honesty, Open-mindedness, and Willingness (the HOW of the program) are essential for an addict’s recovery journey.
We give them time to understand food addiction. Everyone can benefit from reading “The Twenty Questions,” “Food Addiction and the FA Solution,” and the first two chapters of Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous, which clearly lay out the disease and solution. We can discuss how these readings relate to our sponsee’s personal experience with food.

We might ask if they are willing to go to any lengths for recovery from food addiction.

Some newcomers may not know how to answer this question at first, and that’s okay. It takes most people a long time to understand if this program is right for them. We share that as long as they remain Honest, Open-minded and Willing, we can continue working with them.
If a sponsee has had a recent break in abstinence, we encourage them to differentiate between honesty and humility which are essential to recovery, and shame and humiliation which are rooted in our own self-focused thinking. We might explore together, without judgment, if there is some resistance to prioritizing their recovery.

We guide them in their abstinence, defined as weighed and measured meals with nothing in between, no flour, sugar, and the avoidance of any individual binge foods.

We provide a food plan. Typically, we pass on the same food plan our sponsor initially gave us, but we may need to make adjustments, taking into consideration any food allergies, sensitivities, or other individual needs.
If a sponsee has medical issues, we ask them to discuss their food plan with a healthcare professional. If necessary, we adjust accordingly. See “How Do We Address Medical Concerns?” below.
We respect our sponsee’s dietary requirements — whether medical, religious, or ideological.
We ask sponsees to write down their food plan and commit it to us on a daily basis. We explain that anything eaten outside of or beyond our committed meals – including extra bites, licks while cooking, etc. – is considered addictive eating and not abstinent.
We explain how to keep food simple, which helps to remove the obsession and cravings of food addiction. We help sponsees decide which foods to choose and how to prepare them.
We share that reasonable mealtimes bring structure to our often unmanageable lives and can prevent us from getting too hungry and breaking our abstinence.
We recommend that sponsees avoid eating in restaurants for the first 90 days so that they can learn how to determine the correct quantities and avoid temptation. When they’re ready, we teach them how to make appropriate choices when eating out.
We suggest that they weigh themselves at regular intervals, such as once a month, to avoid becoming obsessed with the scale or weight. Sponsees who are underweight or close to goal weight may need to weigh themselves more frequently.

We provide support.

We schedule a daily, uninterrupted fifteen-minute time block to take our sponsee’s call. To maintain anonymity, we each find a private place to talk and sit quietly without multi-tasking so we can focus on the conversation.
We answer any questions about the program and encourage sponsees to discuss how they experienced food addiction before finding recovery.
We might encourage sponsees to read the Living Abstinently booklet, alone or with us, as it is a great basis for discussion.
When they talk about life challenges, we listen with empathy, and if appropriate, we share how we apply the principles of recovery to our own lives. We encourage sponsees to draw on the strength of their Higher Power throughout the day.
We remind them to take their recovery one day at a time.

How can we explain the three-fold nature of addiction?

While many newcomers come to FA focused on weight or their obsession with food, we can explain that a food plan alone is insufficient treatment for a disease that is mental and spiritual, as well as physical. By sharing our own experience with the three-fold nature of food addiction, we help sponsees view their behaviors through the lens of addiction and understand the need for guidance beyond a food plan.

Physical

Many newcomers are initially unhappy with their body size and see losing or gaining weight as the goal of recovery. By encouraging sponsees to focus on the addiction to flour, sugar, and quantities, rather than on attainment of a particular body size, we can help them understand that physical recovery is often the result of abstinence, rather than the goal.
If sponsees experience cravings, mood swings, fatigue, or mild headaches after starting the food plan, we can explain that these are often signs of withdrawal from an addictive substance — in this case, flour and sugar.
When sponsees lose weight, we might encourage them to consider it a benefit of abstinence to be grateful for, rather than viewing weight loss as a personal accomplishment.

Mental

Without acting as mental health practitioners, we help sponsees understand that we are addressing an addiction rather than an eating disorder or a lack of willpower. The inner conflict that comes from eating when we want to lose weight, exercising when we are sick, purging when our teeth are decaying, isolating when we’re lonely, committing to an event and failing to show up, or overcommitting when we need to rest, is evidence of an unmanageable life as addressed in Step One.
Experience has led us to believe that food addiction in any form – overeating, restricting, controlling, obsessing, purging – is a form of self-abuse that can be arrested by working the FA program of recovery.

Spiritual

We share with sponsees that while some addicts can temporarily stop eating addictively using willpower, over time, self-will ultimately fails and the disease progresses. We can explain the importance of a spiritual solution with this quote from the Big Book: “We had to find a power by which we could live, and it had to be a Power greater than ourselves.”^[1]
Some sponsees may come into the program with strong religious beliefs, but our experience has shown us that our spiritual problem is not necessarily a lack of faith or a need to believe in God; it is an inability to use that faith to overcome our addiction. To maintain abstinence, we need to rely on a Higher Power for the willingness to stop eating addictively, one day at a time.

How do we talk about spiritual recovery?

Some newcomers hesitate when asked to turn to a Higher Power for help with their food addiction. Whether they are atheists or belong to a specific faith, we encourage them not to confuse spirituality with religion.

We may or may not define a Higher Power.

We begin by asking sponsees to keep an open mind about asking for help from a power greater than themselves. While a sponsee’s Higher Power might take the form of a deity, it may take no specific form at all. The power of the fellowship, the wonder of the universe, the principles of the Twelve Steps are some of the ways members have defined this power, but no specific definition is necessary.

We explain that sustained recovery comes from surrender, not willpower.

Some food addicts are able to follow a food plan and even reach their goal weight using willpower alone, but in our experience, they are usually not able to maintain abstinence for a sustained period of time.

As recovering addicts, we practice surrender by taking concrete actions regardless of our feelings. Every time we prepare an abstinent meal, prioritize quiet time, attend an FA meeting, or make a gratitude list – even when we don’t feel like it – we are surrendering to a power greater than ourselves.

Getting on our knees or adopting some other physical posture of humility to ask a Higher Power for help serves as a reminder that we are not in control.

Fostering trust

We help sponsees develop a feeling of trust by sharing openly about our personal sorrows, struggles, joys, failures, and feelings of fear, anger, guilt, or shame. We invite them to discuss whatever might be on their minds so that they can see that they are not alone or different. We remember that a good laugh creates connection.

We acknowledge doubt and encourage questions.

Many sponsees will share that they have doubts or are struggling with certain aspects of the program. We assure them that their questions and occasional feelings of resistance are not unusual. Drawing on our own experience, we respond as best we can. This spirit of openness and dialogue is a powerful way to establish trust.

We respect anonymity and privacy.

Sponsees may share sensitive aspects of their lives. We do not divulge confidences or talk about them with others unless professional support is needed.

We listen reflectively.

Our immediate tendency can be to leap in and offer advice, but we are most useful if we first try to understand. Repeating in our own words what we think our sponsee is trying to express can reduce miscommunication by giving them an opportunity to clarify what they meant. We are then better prepared to make a suggestion that supports recovery.

We encourage sharing.

Some sponsees might not know what to talk about on daily phone calls or may feel reluctant to share about themselves. We can start by asking questions about their relationship with food before FA. We can also prompt discussion by reading selections from the literature and asking our sponsee how the reading applies to their life. Sometimes, we can begin by sharing about ourselves, as this may make sponsees more comfortable opening up to us.

We practice empathy.

Sponsees may have life situations that we have not experienced. When they feel comfortable enough to reveal their personal struggles, we gently encourage them to use the tools of the program as they move through these challenges. It can be helpful for sponsees to connect with other FA members who have similar experiences. If it sounds like they may need to consult a professional, we remind them that self-care is a form of recovery, and we support them in seeking outside help when necessary.
Sharing our own stories, we identify with our sponsees so they don’t feel alone. We emphasize that showing compassion to ourselves, practicing acceptance, and relying on a Higher Power can help us face challenging situations and feelings without turning to food.
We validate their experiences, explaining that practicing gratitude does not mean they aren’t entitled to feelings of anger, loss, and sadness; it is possible to feel gratitude and grief at the same time.

We offer suggestions and principles, not rules.

It is said that food addicts are people who are allergic to flour, sugar, and being told what to do. To best help sponsees, we learn to approach everything as a conversation, listening well and asking questions rather than giving commands, proclaiming rules, or making demands. While we may offer suggestions, our sponsees must ultimately make their own choices.
We are most effective when we use our own experience to explain why we believe that our suggestions support continuous, contented abstinence.

How do we address medical concerns?

A sponsor is not a doctor, therapist, social worker, clergy member, nutritionist, or life coach. While some of us may be employed in one of these professions, our role as sponsors is to share our own experiences, passing on the program that has worked for us. We do not give advice on medical or mental health treatments.

We refer sponsees to medical practitioners when necessary.

Members who have had bariatric surgery, those who are pregnant or breastfeeding, teenagers, elderly members, and any others with medical concerns, should be guided to share their food plan and seek advice from their healthcare practitioner.

We make adjustments.

When necessary, we make modifications according to a healthcare professional’s recommendations. Our sponsees must be honest with themselves and their practitioners about the nature of food addiction so we can develop an alternate food plan that both meets their dietary needs and supports their recovery.

We give no advice on medication.

FA sponsors cannot and should not give direction or advice regarding medication of any kind including medication taken for mental health conditions. We leave such matters to the sponsee and their healthcare practitioner. We speak only as recovering food addicts.

How do we guide sponsees after the first 90 days?

As the sponsor-sponsee relationship evolves, we continue to offer guidance on topics such as:

Sharing at a meeting.

When a sponsee reaches 90 days of continuous abstinence, they can share and qualify at meetings. We remind them to practice humility by asking a Higher Power for help, avoid performing, and focus on their experience in active food addiction.
When talking about weight loss, we encourage sponsees to speak of abstinence as a gift from a Higher Power, not an achievement or a success based on effort.
We recommend that they speak from the heart, remembering what they needed to hear when they were new.

Changes in weight.

For many, losing weight is a time of mixed emotions including exhilaration, relief, exhaustion, and vulnerability. We remind sponsees that feelings pass, both the highs and the lows.

For those who enter FA underweight, letting go of control over what they eat and what they weigh can be a terrifying process. Many don’t experience the elation common for newcomers who are losing weight, and they sometimes struggle to identify as food addicts. These sponsees might need reminders that the only requirement for membership is a desire to stop eating addictively. We celebrate that they are no longer hurting themselves with food physically or emotionally.
Some people resent comments about their bodies while others welcome the attention. Either way, we encourage sponsees to acknowledge their feelings and turn to a Higher Power with gratitude.

Reaching a maintenance weight.

Arriving at a healthy weight can be an exciting milestone for physical recovery, but if a sponsee forgets the threefold nature of the disease, they risk becoming complacent. If so, they are in danger of returning to active addiction. We continue discussing our powerlessness over food and the unmanageability of our lives.
We encourage sponsees to keep their food simple as they maintain their new weight.
We let sponsees know that their weight may change over time. We ask them to weigh themselves at certain intervals so that changes can be noted and food plans adjusted accordingly.

Reducing the frequency of daily phone calls.

Most sponsees eventually reach a point where they don’t need to call every day but there is no set timeline for reducing phone call frequency. Food addicts benefit from regular contact, and it’s not uncommon for members with years and decades of continuous abstinence to maintain regular call times with their sponsors.
We explain that a reduction in call times is not a graduation; in fact, without daily calls, sponsees need to rely more deeply on a Higher Power and their fellowship. If they are not ready for this step, we do not reduce call frequency.
At certain times, it might help to increase the frequency of calls, such as when sponsees are facing particularly challenging life circumstances.

Doing Service

We encourage sponsees to attend business meetings and volunteer for service positions.
When they begin sponsoring, we offer our support, reminding them to share their personal experience of addiction and recovery with their sponsee.
Eventually, we might suggest that they become involved at the chapter, intergroup, or World Service level. We can’t keep it if we don’t give it away.

Practicing the Twelve Steps.

In order to achieve contented abstinence, recovering FA members work the Twelve Steps in sequence, using a method focused on food addiction and requiring abstinence throughout each step. When they are working the Twelve Steps, we encourage sponsees to talk about how the spiritual principles relate to their lives.

How do we manage disagreements with sponsees?

We can remind sponsees that conflicts are to be expected in long-term relationships. As sponsors, we work the Tenth Step, acknowledging our mistakes and making amends when necessary. In this way, we remind sponsees that we, too, are recovering food addicts, and we are always in the process of learning.

How do we address a break in abstinence?

It can be disappointing for both sponsor and sponsee when a sponsee breaks their abstinence. We respond without judgment or shaming, inviting our sponsee to share honestly about what preceded the break rather than just encouraging them to “simply resume.” Breaks are opportunities to “look under the hood” together to see what’s going on. If a sponsee is willing to be honest with us and with themselves, breaks can be a turning point that lead to long term abstinence and a deeper commitment to recovery.

We talk openly.

When sponsees share situations, we listen with curiosity and empathy, rather than blame or criticism. We remind them that having a break is not a moral issue.
We invite our sponsees to share anything on their minds, including prior breaks they have not revealed. We might ask if their measurements were exact, if they overate in restaurants, if they justified snacking on items free of sugar and flour, if they sometimes took an extra nibble or overpoured their salad dressing. These revelations can be a relief to the sponsee. We celebrate these moments of clarity and honesty.
Many food addicts eat addictively when they haven’t admitted complete powerlessness over flour, sugar, quantities of food — and often other aspects of their lives. Rereading and discussing the first three steps together can help sponsees understand that abstinence depends on surrendering to a power greater than ourselves.
It’s common for a sponsee to point to a difficult life event as a reason for their break. We can share our own experiences of seeking the strength of a Higher Power and leaning into our tools and fellows during hard times. By accepting Step One and making recovery our highest priority, we never again have to eat addictively.
Just as we don’t take credit for a sponsee’s abstinence, we should not blame ourselves when a sponsee breaks their abstinence, is dishonest, or leaves the program.

How do we handle parting ways?

When a sponsee repeatedly resists our help and shows an unwillingness to work the program we have shared, it may be time to part ways. Sometimes a sponsee is not ready. Maybe we are just not a good fit. While there is no rule about how long to stay with a sponsee, repeated dishonesty, defensiveness, and anger are indicators. Ultimately, the relationship must support the recovery of both sponsor and sponsee.

We have the courage to let go.

Sometimes, because we grow attached to our sponsees, we stay with them even when they are not working the program we are sharing. Afraid of conflict, we avoid being fully honest or making suggestions we think they won’t like. However, we can only claim to have a solution to food addiction if we are living that solution. We share what we know to be true without compromising our program of recovery. We must pass on a program that works for us in order to stay abstinent.
We seek to part on good terms. One way to avoid shame and blame is by acknowledging that we might want different things from the sponsor-sponsee relationship — and that doesn’t mean that one is right and the other is wrong.

We respect our sponsee’s choices.

There are times when, despite how close we may feel to our sponsee, they choose to move on..

Whether they have found a new sponsor or decided to leave FA, we express our caring and affirm that they will always be welcome in FA.
Even if we find ourselves angry, resentful, or hurt, we can acknowledge our feelings without talking negatively about a former sponsee. We keep the focus on ourselves and practice the remedy for resentment found in the book, Alcoholics Anonymous. We remind ourselves that ultimately it is a Higher Power—the divine third—that guides both sponsor and sponsee.

The Joys of Sponsoring

Although no one can learn to sponsor by reading a pamphlet, and no pamphlet can cover every situation, we hope that some of these suggestions will be helpful to you, wherever you are in your journey as a sponsor. If our collective experience has taught us anything, it is that the relationships we gain from sponsoring can be among the most rewarding of our lives.

The joy of sponsoring deepens when our sponsees pass the program to others. Alcoholics Anonymous captures this feeling well:

“To watch people recover, to see them help others, to watch loneliness vanish, to see a fellowship grow up about you, to have a host of friends – this is an experience you must not miss. We know you will not want to miss it. Frequent contact with newcomers and with each other is the bright spot of our lives.”^[2]