October 26, 2010: Frederick News post
FrederickNewsPost.com
Food addicts find help in 12-step program
Originally published October 26, 2010
By Susan Guynn
Overweight and bullied as a kid, Eric grew to find teasing lurked around every corner. In college, cramming for exams also meant cramming in the junk food. He hid food in his car and under the family room couch at home. If his dad found "sweet stuff" in the house, there would be a little competition to see who could eat the most. At work, Eric roamed from floor to floor in the office building seeking lunch meeting leftovers. Dinner consisted of excessive portions, like two boxes of macaroni and cheese -- eaten right from the pan. Shopping in the produce aisle was like visiting a foreign country, he said. With his weight hovering around 400 pounds, Eric was humiliated when he had to get off a theme park ride because his size prevented the safety rail from latching. At a doctor's office visit, the nurse wrote on his chart words that stung -- "350 pounds plus."
Being overweight just became part of life and he reasoned that that's how his life would always be. The weight compromised his health and he lived with intense chronic pain every day. He now views that pain as "the gift of desperation" because it led him to a Food Addicts in Recovery Anonymous meeting four years ago at the urging of his mother, who was already a member. He was the heaviest person there and the only man, but "I found hope." Eric, who now weighs 235 pounds and has gone from a size 52 to size 38, said he is a recovering food addict. "(FA) released me from the mental obsession with food. The constant back and forth squirrel cages -- should I have a food or not -- that's gone."
FA is an international program of recovery that operates based on the 12 steps and traditions, and anonymity of Alcoholics Anonymous. Members interviewed for this story asked not to have their last names use to protect that anonymity. Participants join because they cannot control their eating. Not all are battling obesity; some are struggling with an eating disorder such as anorexia. The FA approach includes "abstinence" from flour and sugar. New members pair with a sponsor who helps develop a food plan and to whom they are accountable. That accountability includes at least one phone call to the sponsor to "commit" that day's food intake. Members are also encouraged to weigh, measure and journal every food they eat before they eat it, and to attend three meetings a week.
The Frederick group formed last fall and meets at 9 a.m. Saturdays at Frederick Memorial Hospital. Meeting style varies from week to week, but may include a member sharing his or her story, and a reading of the 12 steps, traditions and rules of FA. "Addiction is a disease of the mind, body and spirit. There is no cure," said one member reading the definition of a food addict. "But it can be arrested ... one day at a time." Foods are not mentioned by name; rather with generic descriptions such as cold stuff, sweet stuff or flour product.
"Flour and sugar are like a drug to us with a food addiction or who are always thinking about food," said Lisa. "This program gives you structure." She's lost about 50 pounds through FA and another 100 pounds before joining. Prior to that, the 4-foot 11-inch Lisa weighed 300 pounds and squeezed into size 3X clothing. "Life was difficult and the weight was isolating," she said. Isolation is common among food addicts. "I was enjoying being in front of the TV and eating dinner after dinner after dinner in the same night," said Lisa. "And when I would buy a treat that should last a week, I would eat it right away. It wasn't that I wanted it or enjoyed it. "Thankfully, I found (FA)," Lisa said.
At her first meeting, she noticed everyone was thin, yet claimed to be a food addict. "Hearing how those people had gotten control of their out-of-control eating" inspired her. "It's hard to break the mental and physical addiction," Lisa said. "We do it one day at a time, use (FA) tools and ask God (or a higher power) to help us because our way got us to our heaviest."
Jackie would visit restaurants based on the bread they served. "I could tell you which restaurant had the best." She weighed about 350 pounds when she started FA five years ago and has since lost 120 pounds.ds. "In this program we learn what honesty is. If you're struggling, don't walk away (from FA). Keep coming back. It's the fellowship that makes it work," said Jackie, who also attends meetings in Gaithersburg and Potomac.
Valerie, who lives in West Virginia, has lost 75 pounds in 10 months. She makes the 70-minute drive to the Frederick meeting and also does two telephone meetings. She hopes to start an FA meeting closer to her home. Her weight issues started after her mother, husband and father died within a short period of time. "I started isolating myself and turned to food," she said. "I gained over 90 pounds in a six-month period." She craved sugar and "the more chocolate the better. I don't know whether it was for comfort or self-destruction." She tried dieting and sought professional counseling.
Valerie's moment of desperation came when she was shopping for a holiday outfit. "It was a 1X," she said. "I was miserable. I didn't feel like I had a life anymore." That night, she prayed for help. "The next day a girlfriend told me about (FA). I started the next day," said Valerie. "I eliminated flour and sugar. To me it was not hard because I knew I had to listen to God this time. "It was a new way of eating and I had to get into the rhythm of it," said Valerie, who lost 20 pounds the first month. "I did it and I'm still here to help anybody anyway I can."
Since joining FA, Eric said his life has changed dramatically. "The gifts from the program are amazing," he said. "I look forward to my meals. I don't miss what I used to eat -- the cold stuff, the flour and sugar I equate with pain because that's what got me to 400 pounds."