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I thought that my saving grace was that New Years resolutions were made to be broken. Everybody does it. Who am I to be different? Maybe there was a little guilt, a little niggling thought that perhaps I was on the wrong track, but that was completely squelched by February 14. After all, isnt love the most important thing in life? And Love translates so easily into Chocolate.
I dont know how I ever got to weigh over 230 pounds. How did it happen? I tried so hard to do what everyone else did, so Why was I so miserable? Didnt everyone else eat the way I ate?
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Im not sure I knew my unhappiness was due to the food when I first came in to the FA Twelve Step program. But I did know I was overweight, and I wanted to be thin. It was enough. Just wanting to be thin was enough to get me to my first FA meeting and get me started. There is a saying in FA which I relate to: I came for the vanity and stayed for the sanity. It was true for me. I lost the excess weight in one year and I lost the obsession with food, too. But the greatest gifts have been those intangible ones: serenity, a manageable life and a desire to help others.
Modern Miracles
Boy, do I owe a debt to FA. This program is money in the bank. My life has had a lot of ups and downs lately and I have not once thought about eating the way I used to. Let me recap My boyfriend broke up with me I didnt eat! Im in the middle of packing and moving I didnt eat! Im walking through real challenges at my job, and again I didnt eat! There are all modern miracles for this food addict who before FA ate all day long and for whom getting a paper cut would lead to a major binge.