I found FA just before my 30th birthday. My top weight was in the high 180s, which I thought I carried fairly well on my 5’ 6” body. But, I definitely prefer my current weight of 125. My story is not one of immediate willingness or of continuous abstinence. I feel truly grateful for my recovery today because I know I could have been one of the many people who picked up that first bite and never made it back. For as long as I can remember, food has been very important to me. I felt ashamed about how I ate, so I would try to hide it from other people as much as I could. I stole money from my parents to buy sugary treats. I hid in my closet, eating my Halloween and Easter goodies, as well as my sister’s, if I could get away with it. Sugar... Continue Reading
I wanted to be “normal” in my eating. Why should it be a problem when I ate pretty much what I wanted throughout my teenage and early adult years? I may have had some heavy weight gain here and there, but never serious enough to consider my eating a problem. I just needed to back away from the table. I remember my prayer to God after I was so through with myself for not keeping the weight off. At one point, I weighed 230 pounds. I fasted (not eating anything) for one full day, prayed, and turned it over to God. Then I attended my first FA meeting. I was ready to start that night. There was nobody available to sponsor, so the friend who brought me told me she would talk to her sponsor about sponsoring me. I got her phone number, went to the store, and began my... Continue Reading
I had been in FA for almost two years, and I was struggling with what to do next. The weight was off. Now what was I to do with myself? I was still wandering through grocery stores reading labels, trying to find something different to fill the hole in me. I was in a store every other day and was finding myself going out to eat more often, having lunches with co-workers during the week, and going out to meals with my husband on the weekends. One of my favorite things to do before I found FA was to go out to eat. I would try to talk my husband into going shopping so I could eat out. I would start thinking on Thursday about were could we go so I can get the largest portions and bring leftovers home. My mind was always planning. Eating out in abstinence was... Continue Reading
Another diet stopped working It never occurred to me that I ate for any other reason aside from loving food. I loved the taste, the texture, the look, the smell, and especially the quantities. I was a skinny kid, but I started using food as a drug after I was molested at age 16. I went to my first Weight Watcher’s meeting at age 17, with ten pounds to lose. After 30 years of yo-yo dieting, I was 60 pounds overweight when I found my way into Overeaters Anonymous (OA). I joined 90-Day OA (the precursor to FA). I felt right at home the first time I heard someone share about what flour and sugar did to them. I identified with all the feelings they were describing. Prior to this, I never was able to express what I was feeling. All I could do was to either react, or check... Continue Reading
I walked through the doors of FA almost 5 years ago weighing 271 lbs. on a 5 ft. 4 frame and feeling so miserable, helpless, and hopeless that I didn’t want to live. I got a sponsor the very first night not knowing anything about strong programs, abstinence, or even food addiction. I just wanted to lose weight and thought that would be the solution to all my problems. I called my sponsor who had a strong successful program for 18 months and I did lose weight, 146 lbs. of it! I went from a size 24W to a size 4. During this part of my journey I kept secrets! Some secrets involved measuring my food sloppily or using spices that were not suggested. I eventually became honest about these after weeks of harboring them and would start back to Day One. This happened four or five times but there... Continue Reading
