"Before I started this Twelve Step program of recovery I looked forward to every new season with the unrealistic hope that my weight and/or obsession with food would finally decrease and the unmanageability in my life would change. Every time school started in the fall, every New Year, every birthday, every spring when school ended, etc. I would make plans for big changes in my life to make me a happier, thinner person.

"Along with those plans came expectations, which were never realized in the long run. Sure, at first things would be going great and I would feel like things were changing. The excitement of the new season would keep me going for a while, but soon my dedication to exercise programs, eating programs, discipline in my home and work life would give way to the addictive behavior with food and the unmanageability that followed me everywhere. I would give up my plans and wait for the next new season.

"Today, after a few 'one day at a times' and some consistency with abstinence from addictive eating, I have no need to search for a happier, thinner person with each new season. I still get excited about new seasons and I still make plans to be more disciplined in different areas of my life, but my happiness does not depend on it. My expectations are realistic and because I feel healthy, happy and sane most of the time I do not need each new season to fill me up with hope. I have hope every day (even on those rough days) provided that I practice the principals of the FA program and maintain my abstinence."

"Change is hard. But I have learned that change is good, too. Maybe not comfortable- but good for me. When I stopped eating addictively that was perhaps the biggest change I've ever experienced. And it didn't feel fun, but I knew it was good. Now, after many years of abstinence and recovery, I (usually) embrace change more as a challenge than as something to endure and survive.

I have finally grown up in FA. I no longer want everything to be easy and every day to be a vacation. And I don't pout and eat and hurt myself when life happens. Instead, I ask my Higher Power for help, talk to my fellowship, take appropriate action and don't eat. Today I can face life without hiding in the food!"